Doulas and partners at birth: Do doulas replace partners?

“Do doulas replace partners at birth?”
” My partner is worried you’ll take his place during the labour”
” If I have a partner who can support me, why might I need a doula?”

So DO doulas replace partners at birth?!

The short answer is NO! Doulas do NOT have to replace partners in the birth space! There are all sorts of ways that a doula can provide support alongside a partner, and even FOR the partner. In my experience as a doula, there are many instances where after the birth the partner comes to me and says something along the lines of, “Thank you so much for being here; I didn’t realise how much I needed you too!”

What do doulas do then?

Doulas are there to support the entire family through the pregnancy, birth and postnatal process, not just the mum. I help show the partner acupressure or spinning babies techniques to use, provide support in one way while the partner is supporting the woman in another and be there when the partner needs a break. I provide informational, physical and emotional support for partners too! While women are in labour I am often found grabbing the comfy ball for the partner to sit on, making sure they are drinking and eating or refilling the water bottle so they don’t need to leave mum’s side. I’m there for younger children and also to provide support to other family members if needed.

I can make the tea and hold the space. I can fill the tub, provide information, be a shoulder to cry on or lend an ear as needed. Being present to bounce ideas off, providing new equipment and techniques and just general information is part of my role too.

“Where is the ice machine?” “I’ll show you!”
“We need a towel…” “Here’s one I prepared earlier ?”

Whatever you need me to be, I’m there ?

What are other partner’s experiences?

Don’t take my word for it though! Here are some beautiful images of incredible partners supporting women through birth with me supporting alongside, and references to back up what I’m saying. As always, if you’d like to chat through it, please reach out!

“This was our second time having Aimee as our doula for our home birth. We had such a wonderful experience with Aimee the first time around and her help was so incredible, that there was no question in whether we’d have her again for our second birth. If you’re reading this wondering whether you should have a doula at your birth, take this as your sign that you absolutely should, and that person should be Aimee! Having Aimee a part of our births has just been such an invaluable experience. She helped in every conceivable way – physically, mentally, emotionally. There was no topic off limits, nothing I felt that I couldn’t share with her. She was such a welcomed face in our home, even our toddler was asking for her after she’d leave! Not only is Aimee extremely knowledgeable and researched in all areas relating to pregnancy, birth & breastfeeding, she is simply such a beautiful person who will make you feel empowered and confident in your body’s ability to birth your baby. Thank you Aimee for everything you have done for our family x” – Andrew

“Aimee was outstanding in all aspects of her service!” – Sean

So, do doulas replace partners? What do the women feel?

“Words can’t give justice to what Aimee did for our family during pregnancy, labor and in the time since. Aimee was with us for the home birth of our baby boy. She was first on the scene, supporting myself and my husband through labor both physically and emotionally. All while being pregnant herself mind you! We highly recommend Aimee; our birth and everything since has been elevated by having her as our doula.” – Rach

“After an emergency cesarean with my first birth the experience was an overall tramatic one, far from the expectations of birth I had. With my second pregnancy a friend highly recommended Aimee as a Doula. Aimee was along side me through the whole experience of pregnancy and birth. She was a strong advocate for the natural birth I wanted, an amazing source of information and an incredible support for both me and my husband. With Aimee by our sides my husband and I had an incredible natural birth with our beautiful son and I feel so blessed and thankful. My son’s birth is now an experience I’ll cherish forever.” – Alyssia

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